Object of Pleasure
by kittyh
Summary: What do you do when you become a booty call to your best friend's brother? What do you do when your best friend finds out? What do you do when you can no longer deny your feelings towards him? Rated M for Lemons and Language. AH. OOC.
1. I know it's wrong but I can't stop

**Disclaimer - All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N - Hi all, this is my first ever fanfic story, so please be gentle with the reviews. This isn't beta'd so I apologise in advance for any spelling or grammer errors. I hope you all enjoy the story, I have written a few of the other chapters already so I imagine they'll go up pretty quickly after this one. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.**

**A/N 2 - Okay I've had a little rewrite of chapter one, I wasn't completely happy with a couple of bits so I've changed it a little and added a couple of bits. The basic chapter which was chapter one before this is still in there however. If the people who already have read this end up telling me they preferred it the other way it was I will quite happily change it back. I'm working on chapter 2 at the moment and hoping to have a draft finished by today and a final edit of it done by tomorrow so hopefully be up before Monday. Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter/reviewed/put it on alert.**

What the hell was I doing? That was the question I asked myself as we stumbled up the stairs in a drunken haze, shedding clothes, our lips crashing together and our tongues fighting for dominance. I should be stopping myself from doing this, but I couldn't and if I was honest with myself I didn't want to stop now.

The day had been pretty normal up until this point. I'd stopped at my house to stick on some laundry and pick up some clean clothes to take back to the Cullen's house. I practically lived there nowadays, since Charlie had passed away. He has left the house I'd grown up in to me, Bella Swan, his only daughter. It was so quiet here without him however that the Cullen's offered me the option to stay with them whenever I wanted. I stayed with them so regularly I was surprised that they hadn't revoked their offer yet.

I ran back to the Cullen house with my freshly packed bag in tow – I could have driven but I didn't live that far from them and running was healthier. It would be a couple of days before I'd have to return to my own house again. Alice – my best friend – and her elder brother Edward were in the living room lounging on the sofa when I let myself in using my own set of keys.

Edward hadn't long returned from a summer back packing and this was the first time I had seen him for more than five seconds at a time since he'd got back. See stupidly before he'd left I drunkenly blurted out that I had a crush on him, before I puked over him and his $500 Prada shoes – Alice threw a little hissy fit over the shoes I'd ruined. Edward didn't bring up what had happened, but I was embarrassed even though it had been months since then, so I was avoiding him.

Alice came bounding over to me, took my bag, threw it to the bottom of the stairs and dragged me over to where they were sitting; I swear that girl had more energy than a hundred energizer bunnies. They were talking about going out for a drink tonight as Alice had to go back to school tomorrow. She wanted to go out because apparently she hadn't really got to spend any time with Edward because he had been away this summer. I had suspicions that there was an underlying reason she wanted to go out though, but didn't want to tell it to us. Edward tried to say about staying in, stating it was better to spend time together watching a movie rather than trying to shout over the noise of a bar. Alice moaned that she wanted to go out and spend time with her big brother, not stay in like he'd done most nights since he'd got back.

I insisted that they went alone, but somehow four hours later I found myself in a dress and heels Alice had made me wear, after she'd finished using me as her personal Barbie doll, being driven to Port Angeles. We ended up in a bar where a band Alice just happened to know the lead singer of was playing. Of course she said it was a complete accident, but I could tell from the way she was looking at the lead singer this was no accident and was the underlying reason she had wanted to go out tonight with Edward. The reason for me being here was evident now also; she wanted me to be there to talk to Edward so he didn't notice her flirting with the guy, as her brother was fiercely protective of his little sister.

Alice brought the lead singer over during a break, I already knew him as we'd just so happened to end up in a couple of bars over the summer that his band had been playing in also. Again Alice insisted they were all accidents. His name was Jasper and he had seemed nice from the couple of times I had met him. I could already see Alice planning their wedding in her head, and from the way he was looking at her I could see it happening. Soon they left to get Jasper a drink before he went back up on stage. Alice wasn't drinking – she couldn't flirt for shit when drunk so tended to stay sober when she was talking to someone she liked – so as we had our drive sorted and because Alice had practically abandoned Edward and I, we let our hair down.

By the time the bar finally closed we were both a little more than worse for wear, Alice helped me into the car and with Jasper's help got Edward into the car also. As my stuff was already at her parent's house, Alice insisted that I was staying at their house for the night. I tried to protest, but she said what would happen if I was sick in my sleep, I could die alone and be there for days, weeks or months before anyone discovered me and she wasn't having that on her conscience. Drama queen much!

Once back at the house Alice quickly retired to bed, mumbling something about early flights, leaving Edward and I downstairs alone. We continued drinking when perhaps we should have gone to bed, like Alice encouraged us too. We sat on the sofas laughing and more than once Esme came down the stairs and told us to hush. We'd both apologize quickly before giggling like little children once she returned to bed.

Edward and I began to joke about how we wished our respective partners were here, not that I would disrespect Carlisle and Esme by having a guy in their house. Technically though Edward didn't have a partner anymore because he had broken up with his short term girlfriend Jessica Stanley before going travelling, but I knew they'd hooked up a couple of times since he had got back. Mine well wasn't a partner either, just a guy who I'd had a couple of dates with and had sex with once called Mike Newton. We wished they were both here though as we were horny as fuck. This is why I had wanted Alice to take me back to my house actually, as I could have at least been able to call Mike up and have him over.

It was at that point when we both mentioned being horny that touches began to linger maybe a few seconds longer than they should have between us. Edward brushed the hair off my face and rather than just push the hair away, his hand cupped my cheek once he'd removed the hair from there. My arm lounged across the back of the sofa we sat on; I laughed a little too hard at his jokes and absent-mindedly began stroking the nape of his neck. Rather than recoil at my touch he leant into it and let out a little moan.

That was it for me, my horny drunken mind, which I could have just slept off, turning into a state of being highly aroused and I knew I needed to have a mind blowing orgasm before I would be able to sleep tonight. I would wait for Edward to make the first move however or at least give me some indication he was thinking the same as me. In the meantime it didn't hurt for me to start flirting and acting a little bit seductive.

That however didn't happen, just as I was about to start flirting with him, being my usual klutz I spilt an entire glass of red wine over my white dress – Alice's white Dolce and Gabbana dress. She had freaked enough when I had puked over Edward's Prada shoes; I knew she was going to kill me for this. Without thinking I pulled the dress over my head and stumbled into the kitchen where I poured an entire bottle of white wine over the red wine stain, before shoving it into the machine. I prayed that one it would come clean and two that putting it in the machine instead of dry cleaning it wouldn't ruin the dress.

It was then I realized Edward was stood behind me and I was in nothing, but a tiny pair of lace boy shorts that barely covered my ass cheeks, a push up bra, stockings and as Alice would call them killer 'fuck me' heels.

As I turned around to face Edward, his eyes were practically bulging out of his sockets and as I looked down his body I noticed another thing on him bulging. He crossed the kitchen in two strides, picking me up and placing me on the breakfast bar.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and allowed my hands to move into his hair. I could feel his rock hard cock rubbing against the inside of my thigh. His mind had definitely caught up to where my mind had been before the wine fiasco and I decided that was the indication I was waiting for and I crushed my lips into his.

This is how we ended up climbing the stairs to his room, stumbling in a drunken horny state and me not wanting to stop it. My warm center was aching for him, there was no way I'd stop it now. We made so much noise coming up the stairs I was surprised Esme hadn't come out of her room to chastise us again.

Edward bashed against the wall as he took his trousers down, causing us to trip and lay flat on the stairs as he pulled them off the rest of the way. Before we continued to make our way up he grabbed my shoes and threw them down the stairs – I was actually a little pissed at that, they were the only heels I could walk in easily and I didn't want them broken. At the top of the stairs he threw his top off and then pushed me up against the wall, my hands over the tops of my head.

Edward trailed the hand that wasn't holding mine above my head down my body. "Your tits are fucking amazing." He ripped one of the cups exposing my breast to him and placed his mouth on the nipple and began sucking and nibbling.

"OH GOD!" Edward moved his lips from my nipple and I moaned at the loss.

We moved from the wall knocking over a vase that was on the table at the top of the stairs, spilling water and flowers everywhere. By the time we reached his room a small trail of destruction had been left behind us, including Edward's boxers and my now ruined bra. The only thing I had left on me was my lace boy shorts.

We stopped before entering his room and he pushed me up against the door. Running his hands back over my nipples and down to my dripping wet center. "Oh god! I can feel you through these little pants. You're so wet and ready for me already. I can't wait to plunge my rock hard cock into your warm wet pussy."

He put his hands under the elastic of the waist band and guided them down my legs and off my feet, he then proceeded to throw them over his shoulder, I had no idea where they landed and in all honesty I didn't care, I just wanted his lips back on mine and to feel his fingers inside me.

I found the handle to the door and opened it causing us to fall back into his room; he pushed me back onto the bed and kicked the door closed with his foot as he began to advance towards me. Our breathing was rapidly out of control. The back of my knees hit his bed and I moved myself so I was laying on it. He climbed up on top of me, pure lust in his eyes.

Edward crushed his lips onto mine and I let out a gasp and I felt his full size pressed against my leg. He was incredibly well endowed, eight inches at least and very thick, how the fuck was that going to fit into me.

Edward ripped open a condom and placed it on his cock and then he pushed into my entrance with one swift thrust. I'll admit I was left gasping for breath a little, one because I was unfamiliar with his length and girth, but two because there had been no foreplay or anything. I knew outside the door he said he couldn't wait to be inside me, but I hadn't expected him to do it with no foreplay at all.

Once I allowed myself to relax I started to enjoy myself. He moaned my name as he moved on top of me, quick thrusts mixed in with him grinding his hips in circular movements. I met his thrusts and we fell into a prefect rhythm. I was getting ready to crash over the edge of the orgasm which threatened to engulf me, but I needed a little more friction. I started to search for it as I ground my hips against him, I would have used my fingers to bring myself to the edge normally, but Edward had pinned them above my head again with one of his own.

"Bella….fuck….not…..going….last….in….this….tight…..little….cunt!" Edward groaned into my ear.

"Please just a little bit longer. Oh god, please!"

The minute I spoke he groaned out my name and released his seed. I begged him to continue going for just a little longer to bring me to the orgasm I so desperately wanted. Hell I didn't care how he did it as long as he did. Fingers, tongue, I would have even considered using toes if he had suggested it – yes I do realize that is a little messed up – I just really needed to get off. Our sexual experience hadn't exactly been mind-blowing for me.

Edward however, deciding he was already done, pulled out of me, disposed of the used condom by the side of his bed and turned over. "Shh, sleep time now."

I stood up and walked over to the bar in the corner of his room, grabbed a shot glass and a bottle of Jägermeister. I turned back to Edward who was laid spent on his bed, but I could see that he still hadn't completely fallen asleep.

Now I wasn't proud of what I said next, but I was pissed, both as a result of the alcohol and the state Edward left me in. I couldn't care how I made him feel with my words, so I kicked the end of the bed hoping to get his attention and stole a line from my favorite play. "Wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"

He mumbled something unintelligible, before finally surrendering to sleep completely. I knew I was going to get nowhere with him now, so I carried the bottle of drink into his bathroom, not before I called him a fucking dick however. I knew if I wanted any satisfaction tonight and any hope of sleeping, instead of tossing and turning from the frustration I was feeling I was going to have to do it myself. Thank god all the showers in the house had a pulse setting, which was definitely going to help me out.


	2. I don't want anyone to know

**A/N - Hi all, sorry for the delay in uploading this chapter all I can say is RL sucks and this chapter hated me lol. Again it hasn't been beta'd so I apologize for spelling and grammar errors. Anyways here is chapter two hope you enjoy it. **

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{EPOV}**

My head is pounding and the room is spinning so badly. The pain in my head was not being helped by my little sister banging on my bedroom door.

"Unless you have a bucket of Tylenol and coffee, fuck off Alice. Go annoy someone else you stupid little twat. I'm going back to sleep." I pulled my pillow back over my head wishing sleep would find me again at least until the room stopped spinning.

Telling Alice to fuck off, let alone calling her a twat, was a mistake. I knew she was going to be pissed off. I couldn't care though, I mean she'd seen how much I'd drunk last night so I seriously hoped she'd use her common sense and leave me alone for once. I swore she just did things like this to me because she knew how angry I would be.

I heard Bella stir beside me and then sit straight up in bed within a matter of seconds. She quickly sprinted to the bathroom and began to pray to the porcelain gods. I felt rough but at least I wasn't doing that. I was grateful Alice hadn't done she did normally and just walked into the room, she would have killed me if she'd seen Bella in my bed, it wouldn't have mattered if she had clothes on and believe me Bella didn't have one piece of clothing on her perfect body this morning.

Just as the bathroom door was closed and locked Alice came bursting into the room. "Edward Anthony Cullen, you ever tell me to fuck off again or call me a twat and I'll set Em on you next time you have a hangover! Or I might have to tell Mom, who is pissed at you by the way. Want to tell me what you've done? She wants to talk to you. Also have you seen Bella? I wanted to say bye before I leave to go back to school."

All her words started to string together. "Alice, shh. Too many words, sleeping here." I mumbled from beneath my pillow. Suddenly what she had said hit me and I threw the pillow off of my head and looked at her. "Wait did you say Mom is pissed at me? Oh shit!"

My mom wasn't one for getting pissed off easily; in fact she was one of the most laid back people I knew. She didn't even get mad at Em and me as kids when we used her wedding pictures to make a collage. This had to have something to do with last night; I can't remember how many times she got up to tell Bella and me off for being a touch to loud. Alice started jumping on the bed, my stomach felt like it was doing back flips. I was debating about running to the bathroom to say my own personal prayer to the porcelain gods, or just staying in bed and puking over Alice to teach her a lesson when she finally stopped.

She was staring at my bathroom door and it was then I realized the shower had come on, bit weird considering I was supposed to be the only one in my room. I began to feel sick for a completely different reason, I was just about to be killed by my sister when she worked out it was Bella in my shower. I was pretty sure then my elder brother would kill me, his fiancée would then kill me and finally my parents would murder me. I would be one very dead Edward.

"EWW, Edward is that skank Jessica in your bathroom? EWW, Edward are you naked under there?"

Alice ran from the room screaming, you'd think the girl was ten not twenty-one. Mind you I don't think anyone likes to think about their brother or sister naked or their sex lives, thinking about that is all kinds of wrong. At least Alice had jumped to the conclusion it was Jessica in there and didn't have any idea who it really was.

I guess it was time to go and see what about last night my mom was actually pissed about, I'm sure if she'd known about Bella and me she would have been here at the crack of dawn shouting the house down about me being an idiot who can't just leave any girl alone. I thought it was better to shower first though as I was sure it wouldn't be sensible to talk to my mom while I smelt of sex and drink. Also I had to face what had happened between Bella and I first.

I had been laid on the bed spent. I wasn't fully asleep but I could feel it creeping up on me and then Bella kicked the bed and muttered something. I knew I should have listened to her, it would only have been polite considering I'd just had my dick in her, but I really didn't care I just wanted to be allowed to sleep.

Finally I surrendered and I was drifting into a deeper sleep when I heard the shower in my bathroom running. I thought nothing of it, what did I care if Bella wanted to have a shower before doing the walk of shame back to her room. I turned so I was laying on my front ready to slip back to sleep when I heard moans coming from the bathroom. They started slow but were becoming quicker, these weren't moans of pain either, these were moans of pure pleasure and they had my dick hard again in seconds.

I pulled myself of the bed, my rock hard cock in hand and started to move toward the bathroom. I was hit by a wall of steam and the scent of strawberries hung in the air. This was Bella's scent, I dropped my cock from my hand and I felt myself being pulled towards the shower.

I opened the door to the shower and watched as Bella placed the shower head back into the holder. She grabbed a shot of drink she had placed on soap holder in front of her, just as I grabbed the bottle that had been on the shower shelf and took a long drink from it. I watched as she placed the glass back onto the soap holder. Her hand then moved down her body, it started on her neck travelled slowly over her breast. Bella tweaked her nipple on her right breast slowly and her breathing shuddered. Her hand continued down her body and while her other tangled into her wet hair. I watched as her right hand moved onto her warm mound and slowly two fingers disappeared inside of her warm wet pussy.

I nearly shot my load all over the shower door, even though I wasn't even touching myself. This was the hottest thing I had ever seen. Moans started to fall out of her mouth as her fingers moved expertly in and out of her. Soon she used her thumb over her little bundle of nerves. Her legs started to shake, I could tell she was close and I couldn't stop my mouth from popping open with an audible pop, thank fuck she didn't hear me I didn't want her to stop. I watched as her orgasm ripped through her, the moans were loud and clear.

"Oh…Oh….FUCK….EDWARD!" Oh shit, she was fantasizing about me while she did that. So fucking hot, if possible I just grew harder.

I suddenly looked up to be greeted by shocked and embarrassed eyes. I'd been concentrating so hard on where her hand wasn't I hadn't even realized she'd turned around once she had finished.

I gulped and just held up the bottle in my hand. I was surprised it hadn't broken I was gripping it so hard. "Um…Looking for this?" I held it out to her and watched as she went bright red, before she finally grabbed the bottle.

While she grabbed and took a long swig from it, I had to ask her something. "Bella, what were you doing?" I mean it was obvious what she was doing, but surely considering we'd only had sex an hour ago I couldn't believe she was that horny again. Not to brag but all the girls I been with had told me I'd left them so satisfied that they felt like they wouldn't need another orgasm for a month.

The drink obviously brought the confidence Bella had lost when she discovered me watching her, I hadn't actually expected her to answer me. "What? I did say you were leaving me unsatisfied so I decided to make myself cum and my god it was good." She took her bottom lip in between her teeth and looked at me from underneath her incredibly long eye lashes. I felt like a pile of goo at the time while looking at her.

I groaned out loud, I had been so concerned about getting my own rocks off before I passed out that I hadn't realized Bella's needs hadn't been met. I didn't even care when she had tried to tell me she hadn't gotten off either because I was laying in a post sex bliss. I knew I was a jerk, but I'd never been that much of a jerk before.

I climbed into the shower with her and pushed her down onto the shower seat that was nestled in the corner of the incredibly large shower. I had the chair installed in my shower as I had got older and started having sex because I discovered how mind blowing it was to have sex in the shower, I still don't think my parents even know about it, if they did I know they would disapprove. I loved having it in here though, especially for what I was just about to do to Bella.

I pushed her legs apart and slid in between her legs, so I was kneeling in front of her. I pulled her legs up over my shoulders, spreading her legs wider so that she was fully displayed to me. I could see her juices from where she had made herself cum, gleaming on her bald lips. I didn't wait for her to give me her permission, hell I'd been inside of her I didn't exactly imagine I needed it before I buried my head into her warm mound.

I slowly ran my tongue over her clit, earning a long moan from her. I could taste her juices on my tongue and it made my head spin. I moved my tongue down her slit and slowly began to work my tongue in and out of her pussy. Eating her out was like a little slice of heaven, her juices tasted of strawberries and I lapped up all of it greedily. I could spend the rest of my life in between her legs eating her out, it was like eating the most wonderful strawberries you could imagine and then you pour the most delicious pot of cream over them making them a thousand times better than they would have been by themselves and I seriously didn't want to stop.

She put her hands into my hair pulling on it and moving me where she wanted me and at what speed she wanted me to move at. It wasn't long before she was moaning and groaning with pleasure. I dove my tongue back inside of her pussy and I felt her beginning to tighten around my tongue, but I wanted to make this mind blowing for her, so I pushed my fingers into her, running my tongue back up to her clit. While I fucked her with my fingers, I flicked and bit her clit gently.

The moment she let out a scream of pleasure – by the way one of the best sounds I'd ever heard – I pulled my fingers out, plunged my tongue back in to her and felt her juices collect in my mouth. Once I'd made sure I'd cleaned all of her juices out of and off her pussy I licked my fingers ravenously, I didn't want to waste a single drop.

She was looking down at me with a huge smile on her face. I couldn't help the smile being returned on mine as I removed her legs from my shoulders.

I couldn't help telling Bella that I'd never intentionally leave her unsatisfied, then corrected myself not wanting her to get the wrong idea – there is no way I wanted her to believe this was the start of a relationship I didn't do them – and tacked onto the end of it or any other girl unsatisfied.

We'd gone back to bed and I'm not ashamed to admit we fucked like the world was going to end tomorrow and this was the last time we'd ever get to have sex again. I made sure she came at least a couple more times before I did and when I finally did I exploded.

By the time we'd finished we were both completely exhausted and we fell asleep, Bella in my arms. It was the best night's sleep and the best sex I'd ever had, but there was no way what happened last night could ever happen again.

I was brought out of my thoughts by Bella standing in front of me in nothing but a towel. She smelt amazing, looked wonderful and my dick twitched at the sight of her, but she was my little sister's best friend. It was one thing fucking her last night but sober would be wrong. Wouldn't it?

"Morning." Her hair fell over her face as she looked down at her feet. It was obvious she was blushing at the situation we'd found ourselves in right now.

"Hey, Alice was looking for you." I lay back on the bed, my hands behind my head. I wasn't embarrassed by this, heck I'd been in this position before but normally I'd call a girl a cab as soon as the sex was done, I knew how to handle this situation though.

"Did she know I was in the bathroom?" Her head had snapped up and looked at me at the mention of Alice's name.

"God no, you think I want anyone to know what happened last night. I let her think you were Jess." What I had meant to say was that it would be better to keep it between the two of us, but I guess the way I had actually said it got my point across.

"Right, well that's nice to know. Can you check outside that the coast is clear so I can go back to my room?"

Bella was pissed; maybe she hadn't like the way I had phrased that it was for the best that we kept it between ourselves. She'd get over it eventually. I was interested to know she'd got upset, I mean she knew I would feel this way and wouldn't want anyone to know, yet she still got upset when I told her that. I wasn't going ask why she got so upset though, she wanted to leave and me asking her would only keep her in my room and in all honesty I wanted her out of my room also. If she wanted we'd talk later, actually scrap that we would talk later if she wanted to talk or not. I checked outside the room and once I was sure it was clear she left my room.

Once Bella had gone I quickly showered, her scent clung to everything she touched. It drove me crazy, that was not a good thing, her scent clinging to everything had reminded me about that little slice of heaven I'd eaten out last night and I couldn't help but want to taste it again. I was so hard within seconds of being in the shower where her smell was the strongest that I had to jack off and I watched my spunk shoot out and hit the wall in front of me. It wasn't like I had feelings for Bella, I mean I'm Edward Fucking Cullen I don't do feelings, but it didn't stop me from getting turned on by her especially as she had been the best sex I'd had in a long time.

Also I couldn't help thinking if the sex had been that good when drunk what would it be like when we were sober. I had to stop that trail of thought otherwise I'd be hard again. Fucking her had really been a mistake now I couldn't help but want her warm pussy wrapped around my cock again, but I'll tell you what had been an even bigger mistake, sleeping with Bella in my arms. That is normally when women got the wrong idea about what I wanted and that is why I would insist we talk later. Also maybe I'd been mistaken about this being a one-time thing; maybe if she could keep her feelings out of it we could do it again and I wanted to discuss that with her. When sex is as good as it had been between us it'd be a shame not to at least experience it once when sober.

I finally climbed out of the shower, I pulled on some sweats, socks and a t-shirt, I wasn't going anywhere so it didn't matter what I was wearing. I really did need to talk to Bella but I knew that she wouldn't listen to me while pissed and even though I was going to force her to sit there while I talked I needed her to listen as well. I would avoid the talk till a little bit later with Bella, however I knew there was someone I needed to talk to now. That person was my mother and it was the last thing I wanted to do as my head was still tender and she was going to shout. I finally had to go and face her wrath however and I knew this wasn't going to be pretty.

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**A/N 2 - I thought I needed to add this because I want to say please don't hate me and my version of Edward. I know he may not be the nice fluffy Edward everyone knows but please stick with me and trust me with what I've done.**


	3. I am so Pathetic

**Disclaimer - All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N - Hi all, sorry it has taken a while to get chapter 3 up but it is here now. Hope you all enjoy it. Again it isn't beta'd so please excuse spelling and grammer errors.  
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**{BPOV}**

I was furious as I left his room, I couldn't believe his attitude to sleeping with me. Letting Alice believe I was Jessica, okay yes I didn't want her to know it was me but for fuck sake tell her I was anyone but Jessica, our fuck had to mean more to him than anything he'd done with that dirty skank. Then to top it all off to come out and act so disgusted at anyone knowing what had happened, really hurt.

"Bella, there you are!"

I cringed I had just been about to escape undetected into my room, when Alice rounded the corner bringing me out of my inner monologue.

"Erm…Hey Ali."

"God you look almost as rough as Edward does. How long did you to stay up after I went to bed. Mind you the moaning coming from his room most of the night I'm surprised he doesn't look worse then you. Please don't tell me you called up someone also and that is why you look so fucked. Did you know he was going to call up Jessica; the skank is still in his room now. My brother really needs to start thinking with the head on top of his neck rather than the other one. He's going to end up getting some slut pregnant one day and then his life will be fucked up even more than it is now."

I had to stop her, every word that was coming out of her mouth made me feel worse than I already did. Especially to know she'd class me as one of the sluts that Edward normally fucked if she found out.

"I don't think it was Jessica, Ali." Let the wanker work his way out of that one, I would let Alice believe I was just some random girl, but I wouldn't let Alice believe I was Jessica. "Anyways this conversation is way too deep for this time of the morning, especially with the hangover I have right now."

"Bella?"

"Yes, Ali."

"What are you doing out here in your towel?"

Oh shit, listening to her ramble on about how Edward was fucking up his life I'd completely forgotten that I was out of my bedroom in my towel. "I…I…Hey Ali what is going on with you and that Jasper?"

"Oh my good god, he is amazing isn't he. He's voice is like sex and watching his fingers on that guitar almost made me cum. I can't wait to see what he can do with them in bed. He was saying last night he might come out and visit me at school, he was talking about the band going on a tour round the college campuses so he can stay with me for a couple of months."

I listened to her ramble on. Thankfully she has such a short attention span and I knew mentioning Jasper would right away stop her from her questioning of me. I tried to listen like a good friend would, smiling in the right places, laughing – maybe a little bit too hard – at funny things he'd said to her, but really I was trying to think of a way to escape from her. I was embarrassed that I'd been caught doing the walk of shame from her brother's bedroom, even though she didn't know that is what she'd caught me doing.

"Bella? Are you listening to a word I say?"

"Sorry Ali, trailed off for a minute. What were you saying?"

"I said I think he might be the one."

Oh hell no, not another one of her 'I think he's the one' guys. I'd dealt with enough of these guys, over the last few years. I held her hand while she cried over Eric, I picked up snotty tissues when she split up with Ben, and I broke my hand when I punched Sam for cheating on her. These were just three of the guys she claimed were 'the one', there were more but these were the most recent ones and I'd be fucked if I can remember the rest of their names.

"Ali, hun. Please be careful I don't want to see you hurt, don't rush into anything with him please."

She rolled her eyes at me and just sighed, promising she'd be careful with her heart this time. I knew that meant she was going to go in all guns blazing, give her heart to him and probably end up with it broken. Who was I to judge though, I'd had sex with the one guy who was emotionally unavailable and would never commit to a relationship that I wanted him to have with me.

"Right as much as I'd love to continue this chat with you, I have to go get dressed Ali. I'll be down in a few minutes to say bye before I head off for my run."

"Okay, be quick as Em and Rose want to leave to go to the airport with me in ten minutes."

"Promise." I gave her a quick, awkward one armed hug whilst trying to stop my towel from falling before disappearing into my room.

I changed into a pair of yoga pants, a t-shirt and very worn running shoes. I was feeling like crap over last night and I knew the only way I was going to clear my head was by going running. I threw my hair into a very quick pony tail and then ran downstairs saying a quick goodbye to Ali before I ran out of the house.

I wasn't left without any doubt that I'd be getting a call from her later asking what the hell was up and why I left so quickly as normally we'd stay at the door saying goodbye for at least ten minutes and end up in tears because it would be a couple of months till I got to see her again. I wanted to do that as I would miss Alice while she was at school, but I also knew that Edward was going to be down any minute and I honestly didn't want to deal with that little problem right now.

What started as a leisurely pace, soon turned into me running so fast that my muscles began to burn. I only ran like this when I was trying to forget and I was definitely trying to forget last night and the fuck up that was this morning. Before I realized where I was running, I arrived at the spot I avoided on all of my runs. The spot my father had been killed.

He'd been driving home at night after a meeting he'd had to attend, when an articulated lorry that was travelling in the other direction hit a patch of ice and jack knifed across the lanes. My father didn't have time to react, he was killed on impact. It had been nearly a year since his death and I never came to this section of road intentionally, but somehow whenever I was using my run as a means to forget all troubles I had I ended up here.

A plaque had been put here along with a tree by the guys who had worked at the police station with my dad. I laughed a little when they told me what they were doing, I mean planting a tree in a place that had nothing but trees seemed a bit stupid, but I guess they didn't know how else to honor him. It was nice to have it though even if I thought it was a little silly at the time, because whenever I was here it gave me something to talk to, something I could focus on and believe I was talking to him again.

I slumped down in front of it and began pulling up the weeds around it, wiping the leaves and rain that had fallen onto the little brass plate that had his name, date of birth and death on it.

"I miss you Daddy."

I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my head on them.

"I messed up. I wish you were here to tell me how to make it right again. I know you always used to say you could see us being together one day, but Dad after this morning I can't see it. I shouldn't of slept with him, tell me how to make it right again."

I let the tears fall, I missed him so much, and my dad was my best friend. He was the one who picked me up as a child when I scrapped my knee, he was the one I discussed my first period with, and he was the one who I cried with when the evil boy who took my virginity broke my heart. I know I was meant to do all that with a mom, but I didn't have one as mine left when I was little I didn't need one either as I had my dad and he had all the answers. He held my hand through everything, and I just wished he was here to hold my hand right now.

If I closed my eyes as the wind blew it almost felt like he had his arms wrapped around me again, telling me that it would all me okay in the end. I couldn't believe that though. It began to rain and I knew I should make my way home, but I didn't want to leave yet I needed to sit here until I could work my way through everything. Yeah I'd be soaked within minutes, but I guess living here in Forks it didn't bother me as rain was a regular thing and you were often soaked to the bone within minutes here.

Cars began to pass me as it got later in the day, the rain didn't let up either. A few of them honked and slowed down, no doubt people from town who must have thought I'd finally snapped, but really who gave a flying fuck what they thought. I almost felt like if I sat here in the rain it would wash away the shame of last night, it was a long shot but I could hope right. Whereas all the other cars had honked and continued driving past me I heard one honk and stop where I was sitting.

"Bells?"

I turned around to face the road, water running off my nose. Em and Rose were staring back at me with puzzled looks on their faces. I realized just how long I'd been here at that moment, I mean the round trip to the airport was two hours and Rose was going to be doing some shopping while out, so I wasn't surprised they were looking at me like I had cracked because they had to have been gone at least three hours, they would probably have seen me as they drove out and I must have looked a bit of a state sitting there by the side of the road still when they drove back.

"Bells, I said get in the car."

I was so lost in my crap I hadn't even heard Rose talking to me. I climbed into the car and water dripped off of me and onto the seats. Rose made Em take his sweater off and threw it to me. I pulled it over my head and settled back in the seat. The drive back was made in silence, although I could see them eyeing me in the rear view mirror. As we pulled into the Cullen's drive, I jumped out of the car and ran back up to the house hoping to escape Rose before she couldn't start questioning me.

I didn't have that luck however as Em just speed up the long winding drive, knowing there was no way I was get in the car again so he'd beat me there at least so I had to speak to Rose.

"Bella?"

Rose made a grab for my arm as I stepped through the front door. I was so sick of my name today, people calling me, asking me stupid questions and just in general being idiots with things they said. I managed to slip past her however and go running up the stairs.

"Isabella Marie Swan, come back here now! Do not make me chase after you in heels!"

I slammed my door closed, pulling off my running gear and searching around in my drawers for dry clothing before I left again. Within a matter of minutes – it was only minutes because she'd stopped to talk to Em about my obvious break down otherwise I knew it would only be seconds – Rose came barging into my room. I didn't look at her, I couldn't look at her. How do you tell one of the only people you have left that you fucked her fiancé's brother. How do you tell your cousin she can't tell him when you know they never have had a single secret from each other.

"Want to tell me why you were sitting by the side of the road for three hours?"

I pulled my jeans up and buttoned them before going into my closet and grabbing a bag. "Not really."

"Bella, sweetie. Em and I are worried about you."

"I just got thinking about my dad that's all."

"Well I know for a fact that is bullshit. You forget I'm your cousin, you told me you only ever go there when you have things on your mind. Come on talk to me."

I was throwing things into my bag, I didn't have my truck with me so I'd have to come back for the rest of my stuff later as I wouldn't be able to carry it all back with me.

"Seriously Rose it is nothing. Look can you tell Esme and Carlisle thanks for having me for so long, but I think it is finally time for me to go home and that I'll come pick up the rest of my bits tomorrow."

"Bells, you aren't going anywhere until you tell me what the hell is going on."

"Rose, it's…"

"You say nothing and I will kick your ass."

I sat down on the bed defeated. Rose was my cousin and we'd grown up together she knew when I was lying. Okay my mood today hadn't helped, I mean after last night I was completely different to how I was any other day so of course she would know something was up, but I didn't want to tell her. I also knew her well enough that she would get Em to fit locks to the door and stay in here with me until I told her what happened and in all honesty I just wanted to get out of the house right now.

She placed her hands on top of mine. "Bells, please what happened?"

"I fucked up Rose. I slept with someone last night and I shouldn't have; now I just need to get back home for a few days and sort my head out."

"Bells, who was it? Please tell me it wasn't who I think it was." I didn't say anything, but my silence was all the conformation Rose needed. "God, Bells how could you sleep with Edward!"

"Yeah say it louder Rose, because I'm sure when he hears you shouting about it that is going to help the situation right now." I placed my head in my hands and groaned loudly.

Rose pulled me into a hug, before she began to speak. "You realize that was a stupid mistake."

"I know he's Alice & Em's brother and I've put you in an awkward place telling you…"

"Isabella, you know that isn't what I meant. I couldn't care less if you fucked Edward or half the town, you know why it was a stupid mistake."

I did and I had known from the minute she said it was stupid she wasn't referring to the fact he was related to my best friend or my cousin's fiancée, she was referring to the fact I'd been into Edward from the moment Rose had introduced me to Em's family.

When I told him before he went travelling that I had a crush on him and puked on him, the only reason he didn't believe it was true was because Rose insisted I'd already told four other guys the same thing, only difference was I hadn't puked on them. Rose had saved me from myself that night, sadly she hadn't saved me from making the mistake I did last night. She sat me up and turned around so her legs were up on the bed, I copied her position and crossed my legs in front of me.

"So come on then Bells I want details."

"Why?"

"Because surely he can't be as good as all the little skanks he sleeps with claims he is."

I hit her on the arm. "Excuse me but I just happen to be one of those little skanks now so can we not call them that anymore, apart from Jessica obviously."

"Well obviously, she is queen skank. We'll just put you down to temporary insanity Sweetie, we won't add you into the skank pile." I couldn't help, but laugh at her a little bit. "So come on details, from the start."

"You remember me telling you about 'one minute Will' at first he was worse than that."

Rose's hands flew up to her mouth. "You're kidding me, I knew he couldn't be the stud everyone claimed he was."

"I said at first Rose, believe me he got better."

"So how was he worse than 'one minute Will'?"

"Well at least with Will there was foreplay and I had an orgasm before he blew his load a minute after entering me. Edward stuck it in me, got himself off and then turned over to go to sleep."

"You're fucking kidding me right! Please tell me you said something."

"I did, but it didn't matter he still tried going to sleep. So I went into his bathroom fully intent on just getting myself off and then going back to my own room."

"Why didn't you go back to your room to 'get yourself off' as you so charmingly put it?"

"I don't know Rose, I was so drunk last night. You think anything I decided to do was a sensible idea really?"

I raised my eyebrows at her, and she just shook her head no. "So anyways, I was in the shower and I'd just finished with the shower head and started to finish myself off with my fingers. I managed to reach the orgasm I needed and then as I turned around Edward was standing there watching me."

"He questioned what I was doing, so I told him because he'd left me unsatisfied I was doing it myself. He climbed into the shower with me, did you know he has a seat in there? Anyways so he put me on the seat and that is when it got a hell of a lot better. The things he can do with his tongue and his fingers Rose, made me forget my name."

"URGH…Okay maybe I didn't need details. So I gather you slept with him again after he done that to you."

I bit my bottom lip and nodded yes. "Seriously did you not think that you'd slept with him once and that he'd done…well…that to you, that it would be a stupid idea to have sex with him again."

"Rose, drunk remember not really thinking at all."

"Please tell me you were safe at least."

"We were, that is one thing he did actually manage to do right."

"God I've just realized it was you Em and I got woken up by last night. I didn't realize you were that loud while having sex. Remind me never to stay with you when you have a guy to stay, I don't want to listen to you having sex again."

I blushed bright red, I hadn't realized we were that loud last night. I know Alice mentioned hearing moaning from his room, but she was right next door to him so that didn't surprise me, but Em and Rose were three rooms down.

"You do know it can't happen again though don't you Bells?"

"It was a drunken mistake, Edward made it very clear that he doesn't want anyone knowing what happened last night and that means he won't want a repeat."

"That's bull Bella, he doesn't want anyone to know but that doesn't mean he won't want it to happen again. I know Edward he'll think now that he's had you once he can have you whenever he wants. He'll keep using you for when he wants sex and you can't get into that sort of a relationship with him without getting hurt simply because you have actual feelings for him. The problem is you will give yourself to him willingly because you'll hope he'll give you the relationship you want, and you won't care how much it hurts you every single time. Just promise me you won't get yourself hurt."

Wow serious déjà vu, wasn't I just getting Alice to promise me that she'd protect her heart this morning and here Rose was getting me to promise her the same thing.

"I promise. You know I'm not that weak that I'm going to give myself to him anytime he asks."

"Then why are you running away from this, why were you sitting by the road side, why are you going back home?"

"Because I need just a couple of days to myself to get over the embarrassment of this and because it is a waste of time having a home I am never in."

"I don't believe you Bella, you know that already though. Go home, clear your head and try not to get to hurt please. Promise me you'll come back soon as I'll miss you being around."

"You do remember I'll only be ten minutes down the road?"

"I know, but it's not the same as you being here with me." Rose kissed me on the head before standing up. "Need me to give you a lift home?"

I zipped up my bag and slung it over my shoulder. We walked downstairs and to the front door.

"Thanks Rose, but the walk will do me good. Don't forget to thank Esme and Carlisle for me and tell them I'll be back for the rest tomorrow."

"You know I'm here whenever you need to talk."

"Cheers Rose."

I hugged her and set off home. We both knew what she meant when she said she was here if I needed to talk. Rose meant she was there to pick up the pieces every time I have myself to Edward. We both knew I'd give myself to him any time he wanted me because I really was that fucked up. I would give myself willing to the guy screw my feelings just because I had feelings for him and hoped that one day he would return them.

God I'm so pathetic.


	4. I am a Prick

**Disclaimer - All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N - Sorry it has taken me so long to get this chapter up. Here it is though chapter 4 hope you all enjoy it.**

**{EPOV}**

"EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GOING IN THAT LIVING ROOM GET YOUR BACKSIDE IN HERE NOW!"

I'm not sure how my mom managed it but she always knew exactly where we were. Especially if we were trying to avoid her, which considering she wanted to talk to me and Alice had said she was pissed I wanted to do. I walked into the kitchen and I could tell just from the look on her face that Alice hadn't been wrong about her being angry.

"Close the door and sit down."

I couldn't think what I'd done but my mom only makes us sit at the table for dinner or if she wanted a serious talk. I can tell you know it wasn't anywhere near a meal time.

"Edward, I know you are an adult now and I can't tell you what to do but I have to tell you that your father and I are more disappointed with you today then we have ever been in our lives."

"Mom, what are you on about?"

It was then that she stood up from the kitchen table and walked over to pull a bag out of the kitchen cupboard under the sink. I held my breath as she came back to the table, removed the items from the bag and place all of the discarded clothes from last night in front of me. On top of the pile was a pair of white lace boy shorts. Bella's white lace boy shorts. I fumbled for the words to explain what had happened, a lie was on the tip of my tongue when my mom cut me off.

"You know how your father and I feel about Jessica, but we can't tell you who you can and cannot see. What we ask is that while you live under our roof if you are going to bring her back her you at least have a little bit of respect for us. We don't want to hear you having sex like we had to this morning, we don't want to find our belongings knocked over at the top of the stairs, we don't want to find a trail of your clothing leading to your bedroom and we definitely do not want to find her underwear hanging from our bedroom door handle again. Do I make myself clear? You're are not a bad kid Edward but your messing up your life with this sleeping around, I want to be a Grandma but I want you to have a child with someone you love not someone your just using for sex and I'm afraid the way you're going it is going to be the latter."

I couldn't find myself to be bothered about the last words my mom said to me if I had my way the only children I would have involved in my life would be nieces and nephews and even then I didn't want to spend too much time with them. The only thing I could think about and be grateful about was the fact that my mom had jumped to the same conclusion as Alice and thought my conquest last night was Jessica. If she was disappointed with me over that, I'm a hundred and ten she would disown me if she knew it was Bella. My mom loved her like a daughter, so for her to know I'd used Bella last night, it would have broken her heart and as much of a dick that I am I didn't want to break her heart.

"I'm sorry Mom; I promise it won't happen again."

With that she kissed me on the head and told me to get the hell out of her kitchen. Just as I was about to leave I heard Alice call out from the front door that she leaving to go back to college. We both left to say our quick goodbyes to her as it would be a couple of months till we got to see her again. Mom asked where Bella was – something I was curious about myself – as normally Alice and Bella would normally cry for 10 minutes as they said goodbye to each other. Apparently she'd already taken off for her morning run and had only said a quick goodbye. I don't know how she managed to do it as she'd drunk more than I had, yet she was out running and all I wanted to do was go back to bed to sleep.

"Edward, can I talk to you quickly?"

"Sure, Ali."

We walked over to the side while mom, Em and Rose pretended not to be listening.

"First off why did you lie about it being Jessica in your bathroom this morning?"

Shit had Bella dropped me in it, surely she wouldn't do that.

"Look I don't care who it was but I'd rather not have to listen to you shagging some random girls brains out and then have you lie about who it is. We all know you're a man-whore you don't need to lie about who you're screwing we know you frequently have one night stands. Enough about that though, what I really wanted to know is what the fuck have you done to upset Bella?"

"What? Ali, I've done nothing we went to bed…I mean she went to bed last night and she was fine."

Deny…deny…deny…that is my motto in life and I'd deny having done anything to upset Bella, especially to my sister.

"I don't know what it is, but please sort it out before I come back in a few months. She's my best friend and I love her to pieces. So you listen to me Jackass, fix it or I will kill you."

"Fine Ali, I'll work out what I've done and fix it."

I held up my hands in defeat, my sister is tiny but you don't take any of her threats lightly. We hugged goodbye and then she was gone with me assuring her I'd keep my promise and fix whatever was wrong. I kind of guessed that may be easier said than done, if she was as pissed over something as Ali said she was.

As soon as Ali left I retreated back to my bedroom. It wasn't even 10 O'clock and I'd already managed to make two of the most important people in my life angry with me. I decided just to get back into bed until Bella got back from her run and then I'd stick to my promise I'd made with Ali, trying to fix whatever had upset her. Obviously as I couldn't talk to her until she got home I decided to just sleep off my hangover.

I was woken up what only seemed a few minutes later by Rose calling after Bella and Bella walking away from her. I turned over and looked at the clock and three hours had passed since I had laid my head down. I heard someone else – I could only imagine it was Rose – stomp pass my room and decided there was no way I was going to get to go back to sleep if her and Bella were going to start arguing or whatever so I got up and went down to the living room.

I went in and sat down on the sofa opposite Em who looked like shit, he was watching the stairs and his face was full of worry.

"Hey Em, so what's up with those two now?"

"Fuck knows man. When we left to take Ali to the airport she was sitting where Charlie had been killed. We left her as Ali said she'd seemed off this morning and Rose said maybe she just needed some time to sort through whatever was going on in her head, but as we came back she was still sitting there. She was fucking soaked to the bone; I wouldn't be surprised if she gets fucking sick from sitting out there for so long, she didn't look good at all when we pulled up next to her. Rose was just saying that it has been nearly a year since Charlie died, it must be hard for her." Emmett walked over to the Xbox and threw me a controller. "Game of Halo?"

Thank god for Em, he was so easily distracted. He could go from being worried one minute to being his jolly self. I wish it was that easy for me sometimes, I couldn't help wondering what Bella was just about to spill to Rose. I agreed to the game hoping it would prove a distraction for me, but it didn't and Emmett was officially owning my ass. All I could think about was how I hoped that Bella didn't think we were in a relationship now I'd slept with her. I mean I liked her than any other girl I'd slept with, heck she was probably my only friend who was a girl and was one of my best friends, which is probably what made last night so easy and mind blowing, but I'm not a relationship type of guy.

The one relationship I'd had at the age of eighteen, I'd fucked up badly and I knew then that I was never going to enter into another relationship until I was like sixty and found it hard to get pussy from different women so had to get married just so I had it on tap. So I definitely wasn't getting into a relationship with Bella as I'd miss our friendship the minute I fucked up the relationship part. Like I said earlier though we could fuck when either of us wanted to, I had no problem with entering into a friend with benefits type of relationship with her.

"So Rose and I heard you last night. New girl I take it? Sounded like she was lots of fun. Never heard Jessica scream like that as you made her cum. So come on give me the details I want to know about the hot piece of ass you got last night. Do I know her, the voice sounded kind of familiar?"

"Em, shut up man you really don't need the details."

"Oh come on Eddie, when have you never not liked to share. Come on, I'm almost a married man I need to know a few details from my man-whore of a brother."

We both shut up and we heard people coming down the stairs. I looked over at Em as we heard the girls by the front door. We stood up and walked quietly over to the living room door and spied on them. Bella had a bag on her back and was hugging Rose goodbye, she only went to her house yesterday for fresh clothes so I didn't understand why she was going back again now.

Just as Rose shut the door we ran back and sat on the sofa where Em decided that in the space of five minutes I must have changed my mind and wanted to tell him all the details.

"So come on Ed, give me the details, and tell me who it was at least."

"Yeah come on Ed, you can't be ashamed of who it was you, never are so why don't you tell us."

I hadn't realized Rose had come into the living room; she was standing up against the door frame, but started to walk to behind the sofa I was sitting on.

"Em, you don't want to know. Rose, shut up this is none of your business."

Rose stood behind me and started shifting her weight from one foot to the other. I'm not ashamed to admit Rose scared me slightly so I was nervous. Next thing I knew Rose's hand connected with the back of my head.

"WHAT THE FUCK ROSE!"

"YOU KNOW CULLEN YOU CAN BE SUCH A PRICK SOMETIMES!"

With that she stormed out of the room. That slap there was conformation she knew about me and Bella. Emmett started laughing at me as I rubbed the back of my head. I had laughed so many times when Rose hit him like she had just hit me; still it pissed me off so I threw a pillow at him.

"Hey, I'm just glad it wasn't me getting hit for once. So come on what did you do to piss Rose off?"

"Nothing Em, she must be getting PMT or some bullshit like that."

"Liar you know exactly what you did I can tell from your eyes."

"I didn't do anything; just get back on with the fucking game."

Emmett turned off the Xbox just as I was about to kill him.

"What the hell, Em?"

"You're avoiding something. Rose wouldn't hit you for nothing. Me, yes I'm always getting clipped round the head for shit all the time, but that was a proper fucking hit man; she wouldn't do that for nothing."

"You really don't want or need to know Em. Let's just leave it I'll sort it out with her later."

"Eddie, tell me otherwise I'll get mom in here and make her get you to tell us. Or I'll come over there sit on you and give you a wet willy!"

The threat of him sitting on me – the bloke is built like a brick shit-house I didn't fancy getting squashed – or him getting my mom in here was enough for me to tell him.

"!" I strung all the words together and said them in one breath hoping that Em wouldn't hear and would just give up.

"Eddie, I didn't catch that. What did you do?"

Guess he isn't giving up then, might as well get it over with as it would come out to Em sooner or later.

"First off stop calling me Eddie or Ed and I'll tell you."

"Fine, Edward will you please tell me, and then we can work out how to fix it with Rose."

"You can't overreact Em." He crossed his heart. "It wasn't Jessica or some random chick you heard me with last night. Shit man; just don't hit me when I tell you this. It was Bella; it was her I fucked last night."

I was fully prepared for his fist to connect with me face, so I was fully surprised when he didn't hit me and just shouted at me.

"YOU WHAT!"

"EMMETT, for fucks sake. Shut up! Mom is next door in the kitchen and she'll kill me if she finds out."

"I don't care; I think she should find out. As for her killing you there be a long fucking line because at the moment I want to fucking kill you. I mean come on Edward what the hell were you thinking."

He then moved around to the back of the sofa. Following Rose's lead, he hit me around the back of my head. At least he wasn't punching me in my face; there was still time for that though I guess.

"Ed, you need to stop thinking with your dick and start thinking with your head. You know Bell's has had a crush on you for god knows how long now and she's still so messed up over Charlie's death. She doesn't need you messing with her feelings just so that your little man gets his happy ending."

"Hey there is nothing little about my dick."

"Shut the fuck up! I can't even work out what you were thinking Ed, she's Alice's best friend. She might as well be a member of this family. I love her like a little sister, I honestly thought you felt the same way but obviously that was wrong. I love you because you're my brother, but you know what Rose was right you are a fucking prick."

With that Emmett walked out of the room without saying another word to me. With Rose and him that was now two more people to add to the list of people pissed off with me, it was becoming a long fucking list. Maybe Em with right, maybe I did need to start thinking with something other than me dick, but it was a simpler way to live my life and I didn't feel like changing it anytime soon.

I couldn't deny that Em and Rose were right though, I didn't think about Bella's feelings in all of this; I just wanted to get my dick wet and screw everyone else. She didn't seem to mind though, it seemed like last night scratch an itch for her also. Believe me it was an itch I'd be happy to scratch for her over and over again. What can I say I am a prick…but I get pussy whenever I want it and I'm proud of it.

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**A/N 2 - So hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Just wanted to say a quick thank you for all the reviews I've received so far I love getting them. Lemons will be coming up again in Chapter 5. Love to you all, can't wait to hear what you have to say about Edward in this chapter.  
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	5. I am always here for you

******Disclaimer - All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******A/N - Sorry it has been so long since last update, but RL has been a bit crazy around here lately. Hopefully it has all settled down for the moment though and chapters should come out quicker. Hoping to start Chapter 6 tomorrow so it should be out some point next week and I am aiming for a chapter a week until this story is finished which it still has a fair way to go. There is a quick A/N at the bottom of this chapter but other than to say that this hasn't been beta'd so I apologize for spelling and grammer errors, all I have left to say is I hope you enjoy the chapter.  
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**{RPOV - Rosalie}**

It had been three days since I'd seen Bella since she'd left the Cullen's house and gone home. We'd spoken on the phone a couple of times; and every time we had spoken she'd made me promise that I'd stop giving Edward a hard time. That only made me think that she had spoken or more than likely seen the wanker since she'd left otherwise she wouldn't know I was giving him shit. It pissed me off because in my opinion she should never speak or see him again till he apologized for treating her like a piece of meat.

Em had sort of forgiven him – well he was talking to him which was more than I was doing a lot of the time – and I could understand that he was his brother, but I couldn't get over the fact that he'd hurt my cousin and used her for a quick fuck. I was also a little bit pissed at Bells because she is a fool, she'll let him go back to her for more and because of her feelings for him, she'll open her legs over and over again for him. I wondered how many times she'd given herself to him in the past few days; then again I'd probably feel so disgusted after I found out that I didn't want to know. I wanted to shake her and ask her what the fuck was going on in her head.

I know she'd always had low self-esteem, thinking she isn't pretty and doesn't deserve to be happy. I guess when your mom leaves you at two years old and never contacts you again and then your dad dies when you are twenty-one, plus shitty ex-boyfriends who put you down any chance they got, your self-esteem will be low. I guess when all of that happens you will think with all the shit you've been dealt in your life at such a young age, you don't deserve to be happy but that is a load of crap. I had never thought though that her self-worth so low to sleep with my man-whore of a future brother in law.

I was meeting her today, in Port Angeles for lunch and a touch of shopping. I was hoping that I could talk to her a little more about what had happened and hopefully talk some sense into her, putting a stop to the crap between her and Edward. I could just see him coming up with some sort of friends with benefits type think with them and her agreeing with it just so that she could be close to him. For some messed up reason, I know in her head she believes that she can change him. No one can change a whore in my opinion, they can only change themselves and Edward doesn't want to change, he likes sleeping around way too much and it has only become worse since he came back from back packing around Europe.

"You heading off soon babe?" My monkey man's arms came around me from behind and he started nuzzling into my neck. I hummed in happiness; Bells needed to find a good man like my Emmett.

"Yeah, just got to grab my coat and them I'm out. I've got to meet Bells in an hour."

"Are you picking her up?" He kissed the top of my head before spinning me around in his arms so I was facing him.

"Na for some reason she didn't want me round there this morning and is insisting someone is dropping her off in P.A. and I'll drop her off home." I snarled slightly as I said this, I knew as soon as Edward snuck off this morning who was dropping her off in Port Angeles this afternoon and why she didn't want me at her house.

"Babe, it is her mistake to make. I'm not happy with my brother, but it does take two to fuck and if Bells is willing then in all honesty there is nothing we can do about it. We just have to be there for the fall out and let Bells know that she can always come to us." God I loved him, but I hated when he spoke sense like this. I just wanted to stop my cousin from getting hurt.

"Em, you know she wouldn't do this for any other guy she is only doing this because…" Emmett put his hand over my mouth and stopped me from finishing my sentence.

"Let them make their own mistakes darling and just let her know you'll be there for her."

"Urgh, I hate you being right. I got to go babe, I'll pick you up something nice while I'm out." I kissed him quickly, but Emmett wasn't having any of that and deepened it, making my eyes roll back in my head.

"Make sure it is red, silky, and can be torn from your body in less than five seconds." He ground his erection into me and growled. Whenever I spoke about bringing back something for him, my Em always wanted it to be something I wore and he got aroused at the thought within a couple of seconds.

"I'll find something, see you later." I left after again giving him a quick kiss.

I walked out to the car and made my way to Starbucks in Port Angeles. I know I promised Emmett I would let them make their own mistakes but I had to talk to Bells and at least make sure she was entering into whatever this was with Edward with both eyes open. I ordered myself a Mint Choc Chip Frappuccino and sat near the door waiting for her.

Twenty minutes later I was still waiting and getting slightly pissed off considering she was fifteen minutes late. I was giving her another five and then I was leaving. I was shocked at her behavior, Bells was never late for anything she was always there before you normally. I tried calling her phone and got no answer so I decided I would leave, sod her not having a way back home she could call Edward for all I cared. I know it might have seemed a little hypocritical as I was the one normally running a little bit behind, but I always made sure if I was going to be longer than five minutes late I would call her, I would never leave her sitting around by herself for twenty minutes looking like the idiot causing her to look at every person who came in the door like I had.

I picked up my bag, walked out the door and began to walk back my car. I'd quickly call into the mall to get my present for Em and then I'd go home and Bella could call me to apologize later. I was walking past an alley towards the parking lot when I heard moaning coming from the alley. I will never to this day work out what possessed me to walk down that alley but I will forever till this day regret it when I was faced with the sight I got when I walked down there.

Edward had his pants down around his ankles, boxers around his knees pumping himself in and out of my cousin, who had her dress pulled down at the top so he could grope her tits, skirt bunched up over her ass, sans-panties. Her arms outstretched again the wall, to stop herself from bashing into as Edward fucked her.

"WELL THIS IS REAL FUCKING CLASSY ISABELLA." I shouted at her.

She turned her head looking shocked that she had been caught, I wish till this day I'd waited a few minutes more at the coffee shop till I decided to leave or I'd have left a few minutes earlier and discovered them, at least then I'd never of had to see Edward's cum face. He hadn't stopped at my shouts he'd pumped into her once more and then came, I honestly felt sick at having to watch that. What the hell had happened to my innocent little cousin, who would never have dreamed of letting a guy fuck her outside at night, let alone letting him fuck her outside during the middle of the day.

I turned around not wishing to see any more than I already had. I wished I'd had the sense to turn around earlier but it was like my brain and body froze at the sight of them. I heard them righting themselves behind me and Edward laughing. I was outraged that he could find this situation funny.

"Rose you can turn around now." Bells whispered to me. She at least had the decency to look uncomfortable. Edward had a smug grin on his face that I wanted to wipe off.

"You can get a ride home with him." I pointed at Edward, I was so angry I just wanted to get away from them as quickly as possible before I said something that would hurt Bells and I would without a doubt regret saying to her later.

"Rose, please I'm sorry. Can't we just forget about this and go shopping and to lunch like we were meant to." Her cheeks flushed red, she hated disappointing people and she could tell at the moment I was more than a little bit disappointed in her.

"No because if I stay here with you at the moment I will say something to you about your behavior and I love you too much to hurt you." I turned away from and rounded on Edward who still had a freshly fucked smug grin. "And you better stay out of my fucking face at least for the rest of the day you little asshole."

"Rose, you forget whose house you live in. It is my parent's house and I can go wherever you want. Anyways don't get your panties in a bunch over this…" he waved his hand between Bella and himself, "…as this is between us and is none of your business. In fact if anyone wanted to get their panties in a bunch it should be Bella as she didn't get her big 'O'. Of course she could only do that if she was wearing some."

I turned around quickly and walked out the alley with Bella calling after me. If I stayed there any longer I was going to murder him and that would hurt my Emmett. He had no respect for my cousin at all, how she couldn't see this was beyond me. I got in the car and started towards home, not even bothering to stop at the mall. After everything I had just witnessed I just wanted to get home to Emmett and try to work out what Esme and Carlisle had done so different between the two of them, as Em was the perfect gent and Edward was a little twat.

I got home quicker than I had expected and slammed the car door with a little more force than I had meant to. I was fuming, I'd been left waiting around for twenty minutes only to go find my cousin fucking in an alley, with my future brother-in-law, then got his attitude over it and to top it all off I'd had to witness his cum face. This was not how I'd expected my day to go.

I walked into the house and up to Emmett and my bedroom, to find Em laying down on the bed watching a film. I threw down my purse, kicked off my shoes and crawled into bed next to him.

"Hey babe, you're home earlier than I expected." He turned over to look at the clock his brow furrowed when he saw the time. "A lot earlier than I expected." He began to run his hand through my hair in an effort to calm me down. "Want to talk about it?"

"What part? The part where I got stood up, so that your brother and my cousin could fuck in an alley or the part where I had to watch your brother cum, or the part where your brother threw in my face again that this is your parents' house and I'm only a guest here."

That last part hurt a hell of a lot, I was only living here for the moment because my parents had kicked me out when I announced I was marrying Emmett rather than their choice of my dad's work partners son Royce. I was going to get an apartment or move in with Bells, but considering she was here most of the time and the wedding was only in a couple of months, Esme and Carlisle told me to move in here.

"I'm sorry babe. You know he only says that shit because he knows it will upset you. As for the other stuff well no-one should ever have to see my brother cum because that is just nasty and for being stood up well there is no excuse to that. Both Bella and Edward owe you an apology."

"I don't know what has happened to her Emmy-bear it has only been three days since all the shit got messed up with them sleeping together and she's already changing into someone I don't recognize and don't really like. My cousin doesn't act like this, what is this hold your brother has over women to make them change so badly and change so quickly."

"I don't know babe, all I can think is Bells is letting her feelings rule how she is acting. She'll take him anyway she can get him at the moment and hope that she can change him to the man who will eventually want a relationship with her."

"It will never happen though Em and she'll get hurt. She's had enough shit in her life; I don't want her to be subjected to anymore. I want her to be happy."

"I know, we all do. You never know we could all be looking at this wrong, he could change and they could end up together and happy."

I had to laugh at that. "Like I said it will never happen. Thank you for listening to me moan and I'm sorry I didn't get anything nice for you." I snuggled into him; he could always make me feel better.

"All I ever need is for you to be in my arms baby, nothing else ever matters. I don't ever need you in fancy underwear, although you know how much I love it when you dress up in it for me, in or out of it you are still my Rosie and I love you." He always knew just what to say. "As for the rest you know that I am always here to listen, and I'm always here for you and Bells. You're my future and she is family so I'll do whatever I can to make you and her happy." He kissed me softly on the lips before climbing off the bed. "You rest up here and I'm going to go make you some lunch."

I watched him walk his way out of the room and lay back on the pillow, my arm slung over my eyes. A few minutes later a small knock came on the door and in walked Bella. I sighed and sat up on the bed. She stood awkwardly at the edge looking at the floor.

"I'm sorry." It was barely above a whisper and when I looked at her tears streaked down her cheeks. She was so upset knowing how disappointed I was with her and I hated to see her so broken.

I patted the bed and held my arms open for her. She quickly came and flung herself into my arms and kept telling me how sorry she was for standing me up. I shh'd her and told her it was okay. Finally she calmed down enough to sit up and look at me.

I looked her straight in the eyes as I spoke I knew she wouldn't like what way going to be said but it needed to be spoken and I was the only one who was going to do it. So I settled myself and opened my mouth to begin speaking to her.

"Bells we need to talk."

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**A/N 2 - Sorry to leave it there but I wanted the talk to come from Bella's POV and for her to explain from her POV what has been going on between her and doucheward. I plan on doing a few different POV in this story so don't be surprised if you seen a couple pop up from Em, Rose or Alice (maybe even Jasper), they won't necessarily be all as long as this one here and you might find them mixed in with other people's POV if they are needed for different reasons in the same chapter, if I do that though I will always tell you whose POV it is in. Anyways hope you all enjoyed this chapter until the next one, see ya!**


	6. I am reaching for that carrot

******Disclaimer - All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******A/N - Hi all I know I said I was hoping to have this up last week and I'm really sorry I didn't. I think rather than trying to get a chapter up every week I'm probably going to be trying to get one up every two weeks (much more likely than one a week). Thank you for the people who reviewed, read the last chapter, stuck it the story on favorite or alert. Again this hasn't been beta'd so I apologize for spelling or grammer errors. Hope you enjoy the chapter.**

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**{BPOV}**

I don't think I have ever in my entire life had as much sex or oral sex as I have had in the past three days. Edward came round the day after I had left the Cullen house to discuss his proposal with me; he wanted us to be friends with benefits. I agreed, but we put down some rules so things didn't get messed up and so that if we ended the arrangement we could still remain friends.

The result of this agreement I have learnt was a hell of a lot of sex. In fact Edward was laying in my bed right now after another round of blissful earth shattering sex. I had less than an hour till I had to meet Rosalie in Port Angeles and I was going to be late so we had to get moving now. I kicked the bed frame as Edward had begun to fall asleep, I realize was becoming a bit of a routine with us, he'd fall asleep straight after he got his release – always making sure I got mine first – and I'd kick the bed to wake him up when I got up to use the bathroom. It was one of our rules, never to fall asleep after having sex with each other where ever we'd had sex.

It was one of the only rules that I really insisted on, Edward wasn't happy about it as he like to fall asleep straight after sex but it protected me from thinking that this was anything more than sex and from getting hurt any more than I knew I would when this arrangement between us ended.

"Edward get up, come on you promised me you'd take me to Port Angeles to meet Rose."

"No come back to bed, screw Rose for the day, phone her up and say you're sick or something. Come on then we can fuck until I have to go out a little bit later."

"Edward no, we made a point of the rules so this doesn't get messy and one of them is that we don't blow off other commitments to fuck. I promised Rose I was meeting her today so you're taking me to meet her like you promised you would if I allowed you to come over this morning."

"Fine, have I at least got time to go for a shower?" He yawned while speaking to me.

"Yes, a quick one as long as you get your ass out of my bed right now."

"Come join me?" He didn't give me time to answer he pulled me by the hand into the bathroom where we would have our second round of sex this morning.

Thirty minutes later after a quick round of shower sex and an even quicker shower we were on our way to Port Angeles. With the way Edward drove I luckily should only be about five minutes late so I didn't bother to contact Rose and let her know.

"So, are you coming round tonight once I've finished shopping with Rose?"

"Nah, Jessica wants to take a ride on Gigantor…" he said gesturing to his cock "…so I promised her I'd head round there in a bit."

I honestly felt a little sick, I knew he was still sleeping with other women but I didn't want to hear him talk about it so casually, I really wished he'd just say he had plans.

"Mind you if you want to take him for a ride right now I'll happily pull over the car so you can have a go on him, he won't mind."

"No sorry can't I'm already going to be five minutes late."

"Okay, what about some road head then? All this talk about him getting ridden has made him as hard as a fucking rock."

"You do realize that it's a little disturbing to hear you talk about your cock in the third person."

"I'll stop if you give me a little road head or if you allow me to fuck you, because seriously this thing is getting painful."

I looked down at his crotch and I could see his massive cock straining against his jeans. One thing that was coming out of this arrangement was the fact the sex was so fucking awesome, after that one little fuck up the night this started I'd cum at least twice every time we had sex. I feel the wetness begin to pool between my legs, and my clit being to throb with need.

"I really want to believe me." My point was emphasized by me rubbing my legs together to try and get some friction where I desperately need it. "But I really do have to meet Rose. We both know she ain't happy with this little set up that we have going on so there is no way she'd be happy if I arrived late because I'd stopped to fuck you."

Apparently all he needed to hear was that I wanted to fuck him and his hand started to travel up my leg and under the skirt of my dress. His fingers found my lace clad pussy with ease and he began to tease me through the soaked material.

"Seems like you really want to fuck me, I told you that you should have blown Rose off and spent all day in bed fucking me." I whimpered as his fingers pulled the lace across so he now had full access to my sex.

His fingers ran along my slit and as he pressed them against my pussy a little harder began to tease my clit. By the time we reached the parking lot of the Starbucks where I was meeting Rose I was a moaning mess. Edward then plunged his fingers into me and curled them up towards the front finding the spot inside me that made me incoherent. Within a couple of minutes he had me cumming all over his hand and his passenger side seat. He stuck his fingers into his mouth and sucked my juices from them.

"I've got to fucking have you right now, Bella!"

He jumped out the car, ran around to my side and flung open the door. Edward literally dragged me from the car, slammed the door closed and pulled me to an alley way by the parking lot whilst locking his car with his remote locking. We reached the end of the alley which was hidden from view of the road and the parking lot.

"This is going to be quick, hard and fast and not at all pretty Bella but believe me when I say you're going to fucking love it."

He pressed me up against the wall and attacked my mouth with his own. His tongue pressed against my lips and I willingly parted them to allow it to invade my mouth. I moaned whorishly as our tongues battled for dominance, I'd let him win eventually I always did. His hands slowly moved down my body and stopped at the zip at the top of my dress tugging it down slowly along with the top so that my breasts were soon exposed to him. Edward's hands soon found purchase on my tits, each one more than a handful for him but he knew how to grope them in a way that had me within minutes wanting to grind down on his rock hard cock to get the contact I needed to get rid of the want that had been cause in me from him playing with them. He my puckered nipple of my right breast between his thumb and forefinger rolling it slowly, as his mouth attacked the nipple on my left. I pulled at his hair while he sucked on it.

He lifted his mouth from my nipple and I moaned at the loss of contact, gradually his hands moved down my body under my skirt to the sides of my red lace underwear. He pulled them down my legs and helped me to step out of them once they reached my ankles. Once he had removed them from my body he slid them into the back pocket of his jeans, claiming they were now his and I wouldn't be getting them back.

He spun me so I was facing the wall and told me to brace myself with my arms so that he could fuck me hard and fast. He ran the head of his cock along my slit and then plunged his self into my warm wet hole. Edward bunched my skirt over my ass as he held onto my hips with one hand and his other found its way back to my tit. His pants were around his ankles and his boxers were around his knees as he repeatedly slammed into me hard.

"God Bella, your cunt is so fucking tight. I love fucking you, it's like fucking a virgin every single time with how tight your pretty little cunt is."

I moaned as he rammed his cock into me repeatedly. I knew I was being too loud for being out in the open but I couldn't control myself, he felt too good. I was just reaching the brink of another orgasm when I heard someone call out.

"WELL THIS IS REAL FUCKING CLASSY ISABELLA."

I turned my head towards the voice and saw Rosalie standing there. The orgasm that had started quickly disappeared, Edward however didn't let this deter him and he pumped into me once more and then spilled his seed deep inside the latex barrier he had on.

Rosalie turned around, and we quickly began to rearrange ourselves. Edward had a smug grin on his face that I honestly wanted to slap off of him at the moment. He disposed of the condom that he'd placed on before he plunged into me and tucked himself back into his now pulled up pants and boxers. I rearranged myself back into my dress and got Edward to help do the zip back up on the top of my dress.

"Rose you can turn around now." I whispered. I looked to the ground as I spoke, too uncomfortable to look her in the eye after what she had just witnessed.

"You can get a ride home with him." She pointed towards Edward. I could see how angry she was at the moment with us both.

"Rose, please I'm sorry. Can't we just forget about this and go shopping and to lunch like we were meant to." My cheeks began to burn with embarrassment. I'd disappointed Rose, I could see that from the look in her eyes and I hated it.

"No, because if I stay here with you at the moment I will say something to you about your behavior and I love you too much to hurt you." She turned her anger quickly towards Edward who still had a smug grin on his face. "And you better stay out of my fucking face at least for the rest of the day you little asshole." Before I could say anything to her Edward jumped into the conversation.

"Rose, you forget whose house you live in. It is my parent's house and I can go wherever I want. Anyways don't get your panties in a bunch over this…" he waved his hand between me and him, "…as this is between us and is none of your business. In fact if anyone wanted to get their panties in a bunch it should be Bella as she didn't get her big 'O'. Of course she could only do that if she was wearing some."

She quickly turned around and walked out of the alley. I called after her begging her to come back and talk to me. Of course she wouldn't listen to me. I hit Edward hard across his chest with the back of my hand.

"You can be such a fucking prick sometimes. Why do you say that shit just to piss her off? You know the only reason she is staying with you is because my aunt and uncle are complete idiots."

"She needs to stay the fuck out of our business Bella."

"She's trying to look after me; she's the only family I have left."

"I get that but why the hell does it matter if you're sleeping with me or whole town and half of Seattle. You're a grown up women she can't expect you never to sleep with anyone in your entire life, who you sleep with is up to you."

"I think it had more to do with the fact I was late meeting her and the fact she caught me fucking in an alley than who I was fucking." Okay, that was complete bullshit. I knew it had everything to do with who I was sleeping with because she knew of my feelings towards Edward.

"Can you just drive me back to your house so I can try and sort it out with her please?"

"Sure, we'll have to rush though as I'm due to back here in a couple of hours to meet Jessica at her house, it was the only reason I agreed to drive you out here in the first place. The sex you offered up before hand was just a bonus to me. Gigantor thanks you for your tight pussy and the awesome sex."

Well didn't that just make me feel so special. The rest of the ride back to the Cullen's house was spent in silent, well no word were exchanged between Edward and myself, he was however humming the same tune he always did when he got laid. We pulled up outside the house; he didn't switch off the car and made no attempt to get out of the car.

"Right Bella had a great day; I'll speak to you soon."

No sooner as I'd stepped out the car and closed the door, Edward turned the car around and headed back out again. He was no doubt heading off to Jessica, thank god he always put a condom on there is no way I'd sleep with him after he'd slept with her if he didn't. I walked into the house which was quiet, not surprising since Carlisle and Esme were at work, and started to make my way up the stairs to Rose and Emmett's room.

Just as I reached the landing that led to everyone's bedrooms I bumped into Emmett who was walking down stairs. He places a hand gently on my shoulder and let out a soft sigh whilst shaking his head in disapproval. He then surprised me by giving me a quick hug, he didn't say a thing to me but I knew Rose had told him what had happened. He released me, pushed me slowly towards his room and then continued his own journey.

I knocked timidly on the door and entered without waiting for her to tell me I could. Rose was laying on the bed but when she say me she sighed and sat up. I walked over to the edge of her bed all the time looking at the floor, I could feel the tears already falling down my cheeks, I hated the fact that I'd let down the only family that I had left.

"I'm sorry." I barely whispered but I knew she could hear me.

She patted the bed and held her arms open for me. I flung myself into them and kept telling her how sorry I was for standing her up and for what she had witnessed. She shh'd me and told me that it was okay. Finally I was calm enough that I sat and looked at her.

She looked me straight in the eyes, I didn't like the look she had on her face but I knew sooner or later this was going to come out so it was better that it was sooner I guess, get it out of the way.

I wasn't surprised when she said to me. "Bells we need to talk."

"I know. I am so sorry for today Rose."

"You've already said that and I've forgiven you but both you and I know that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about." She took my hands in hers and gently played with the mood ring on my thumb, the last gift from my father which I never took off.

"I don't know what has been going on with you Bells. These past few days you have changed so quickly and you and I both know that it is because of Edward. The problem is you haven't changed for the better it is for the worse. Where is the old Bella who we could always rely on?"

"She's still here Rose, but you know what if I'm sick of that Bella? What if I want to be someone different for once? I mean I'm nearly twenty-two years old and what really have I ever done in my life that was fun and for me. I looked after my dad all my life because my mom could be bothered to stick around and be there for us, then he goes and dies. I don't know who I am, so for once maybe I'm thinking fuck it do what feels good and what happens, happens."

"Okay I get that maybe it is time for you to discover who you are and have a little fun in your life, but with Edward you are going to get hurt because you like him as more than a friend. This friends with benefit thing you have going on here is great for him because he gets no strings sex with a friend, but you will end up hurt."

"No I won't we insisted on rules so that, that doesn't happen." I knew I more than likely would but I refused to have this conversation with Rose again.

"Right rules come on then what are these oh so great rules that will stop your world from crashing down when this ends because believe me this will end and someone will get hurt." She began to raise her voice with me, I knew she was angry with me, but I was also angry with her.

"Why should I tell you the rules, Rose? In all honesty it is my life and it should be up to me to make the mistakes and for me to work through anything that should happen as a result of any decision I make."

"I want to know them because I want you to see as your telling me how many of them you've probably broken within the first few days of this stupid arrangement already without you realizing them."

"We promised not to blow off other arrangements just to fuck." I started off with that one because I knew it was one I had broken today so it she was going to try and point out the ones I'd broken I'd start off with the only one I had.

"Well we already know that one is broken so next." She looked down at her fingers nails as she spoke, admiring them in the rare sunlight that was filtering through the window.

"This is stupid Rose, of course a few of the rules are going to get broken but what does it matter as long as the important ones aren't."

"So come on then tell me what the important ones are then."

Okay she wanted them I'd give them to her, so I began to list them off.

"We have to remember we are not each other's partner, we have no right to question where the other has been, what they have been up to and who they have been with." I didn't tell her I'd almost broken that one the first day of the arrangement when he'd told me he'd come over later in the day for some fun, I'd waited in all day and had to bite my tongue from asking these questions the minute he arrived at my house.

"No unprotected sex with other people, he must always wear a condom with other people and I must insist if I sleep with another guy he wears one even though I'm on the pill." I didn't really need to worry about protected sex for myself because I'd never sleep with more than one person at one time so even though Edward and I weren't in a relationship I knew I wouldn't be having sex with anyone else.

"Right so he gets to go bareback with you any time he wants, that's sensible." I'm sure I wasn't supposed to hear that as she muttered it under her breath.

"No discussing other people we are sleeping with, because the other person probably won't want to know." Okay so Edward had broken that numerous times, but I already knew he'd continue to sleep with Jessica so what did it matter if he discussed her; I just had to ignore the pain in my chest every time he did.

"No one other than you and Emmett are to know."

"Yeah that one works for him, because he knows if Alice, Carlisle or Esme were to find out they'd rip his balls off."

"ROSE!" I was losing my temper with her. "Do you want me to continue or you just going to continue making snide comments? If you are I won't even bother. You seem to forget this is my life, my private life and really if I don't want to I don't have to tell you any of this." She waved her hands telling me to continue.

"No sleep overs, or falling asleep where we have sex." I already knew Edward tried to break this one continually but it was the one I refused to allow to be broken, because in his sleep I knew Edward liked to cuddle and it would only send confused messages to me, like it did on the very first night all this started.

"No going over to each other's house or to each other for sex straight after sleeping with someone else or getting rejected by someone else." Maybe more of these had been broken than I realized, because he had come over to me after being with Jessica, I knew because he stunk of her cheap perfume.

"That is it, there are some trivial ones but they don't matter these are the important ones."

"You're lying. I know there has to be another rule in there somewhere that got you to agree to this."

I collapsed back onto the bed, Rose always knew when I was holding something back and I was the biggest rule of them all.

"If he ever wants a relationship, I'm the first person he will talk to about starting a relationship with in case I have any feelings for him and want to see what can come out of our arrangement in the long term."

"There it is the carrot I was waiting to be seeing dangled in front of you to get you to agree to this stupid agreement. Bells don't you see that rule is only there to get you to do this with him, he is never going to want a relationship but the promise of is what will keep you there." She got up from the bed and begun walking to her door. "You're right though this is your mistake to make and your life you are going to ruin, and guess what I'm going to stay out of it from now on. Do what you want with Edward; I will not say another thing about it. Just know I'll always be here for you at the end though, but I will say I told you so."

Once she left the room I continued to think over what she said. I knew that rule was a carrot being dangled in front of my face in order to get me to agree, but I think even without it being there I would have still agreed to this. Some people may call me stupid and naïve for agreeing to it, but I wasn't going to regret what I was doing with Edward no matter how it ended or what was happening because at least if it ended I knew what it was like having been with him. So I would keep reaching for that carrot he had dangled in front of me, even if every rule got broken in the process, I just hoped that it would come into reach sooner rather than later.

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**A/N 2 - Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Please leave a review if you did. EPOV coming up next will be set about a month or two in the future after this one. **


	7. I am nervous

******Disclaimer - All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******A/N - Shocking I said last week I'd been updating every two weeks yet here I am a week later with an update. I needed to do this though as I need to give myself an extra week for the next chapter (I'll explain at the end of this chapter) so unless by some miracle I can get it written out quickly it will be three weeks till chapter 8 (hope giving you this one early will make up for that), after that it should go back to every two weeks it being updated. I want to again say a huge ********thank you for the people who reviewed, read the last chapter, stuck the story on favorite or alert. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

*******Warning there is a Jessicunt and Doucheward lemon at the beginning, sorry people but it needed to be done.*  
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**{EPOV}**

My fingers were twisted in her mousy brown hair and I thrust my cock in and out of her mouth.

"Fuck Jess, come on you know you can take all of my cock. You practice enough on other dicks so you should be an expert on deep throating now."

She growled around my cock and I slid the last bit of it into her mouth, I could feel the tip hitting the back of her throat. It wasn't the best head I'd received – no that was Bella, fuck she sucked my cock good – but it wasn't terrible.

"Yeah, just like that. Take it like the good little cock guzzler you are."

I sped up my thrust, Jessica allowing me to have the control and fuck her mouth. I began to feel my balls tighten and I knew my release was going to come soon; I'd then have to service this bitch so that she'd get off. If I didn't I knew she wouldn't let me come back for more, she had a rule I had to at least make her cum once during each one of our fuck sessions otherwise there was no point to my being her she might as well just use her vibrator; which was a mold of my cock that she had done while we briefly dated.

I supposed I could just say fuck it and go to Bella more than I already did but in all honesty I didn't want to fuck her too often, her feelings for me – which she still believed I didn't know about – already made it more complicated than I wanted for a fuck buddy. If it wasn't for the good head and fucking tight little cunt she had I honestly don't think I'd bother. It wasn't like I didn't get enough other pussy, with Bella and Jessica I had another three girls I was currently fucking and all of them would be more than willing to take my cock more often.

I was snapped out of my inner thoughts by Jessica tugging on my balls. Fuck, I pumped my hips faster still and tightened my grip on her head more. I didn't even bother to tap her on the head anymore to let her know I was going to cum as she never pulled off; she always swallowed everything I gave her. One final thrust and I spilled my cum down her throat, she licked my cock clean before letting go of it with an audible pop.

"Mmm Eddie you taste as good as always." She licked her lips as she purred out the words.

She moved up the bed and tried to kiss me on the mouth. I turned my head, I didn't kiss the girls I fucked – well I guess that weren't technically true I did kiss Bella a fair bit – but I definitely weren't going to kiss Jessica after I'd just shot my load into her mouth. I began to move my hand down her body, I wanted to get her off as soon as possible so I could quickly jump in her shower, get out of here and meet Jake at the club in an hour. Never know I might find someone there who would be good for a quick fuck so I weren't going home by myself tonight.

"No Eddie, baby I don't want your hands I want you to give me a good fucking like you used to."

"Jess, its Edward not Eddie. If you want me to fuck you then you're going to have to do some work because I'm soft as shit at the moment."

I looked down at my flaccid cock; I swear it shriveled up at the thought of my sticking it into the gaping hole that Jessica called her pussy. I knew I wasn't really getting the enjoyment out of this I used to so really should end this little thing we had going on, but I weren't going to end it just in case one of the others decided they wanted to end our arrangements, I wanted to have as many girls as an option for me to fuck.

Also I knew Jess was good for a threesome if I wanted to have another girl involved and fuck me if I didn't enjoy threesomes. A girl, Jake – he was the only guy I trusted to have another threesome with an know he wouldn't be looking at my junk as you'd be surprised just how many guys wanted to get up on my dick as well as girls, and I just don't do that – and me or two girls and me, anyway was good.

Jess started to take my dick into her mouth knowing that would be the quickest way to get me hard again; however it was taking longer than normal. I closed my eyes and began to imagine a different mouth wrapped around me, this one was attached to a girl who had dark brown hair and eyes the color of milk chocolate. Okay I was imagining it was Bella's mouth on me, so shoot me, but when you're with a girl like Jess occasionally you need a little bit of a fantasy to get yourself hard and I've already stated that Bella's mouth and pussy were fucking awesome.

I felt my dick rousing and soon I was rock hard again. I heard Jess open the condom and felt her begin to roll it onto me, I didn't dare open my eyes because I knew I'd go soft again if I looked at Jess while doing this. I changed my mind I definitely had to end this tonight; I guess my mission tonight at the club was to find a new fuck buddy rather than a one night stand. I felt her position me at her entrance and in all honesty had it not been for the contented sigh she let out as she sank down on my cock I doubt I would have even known that is what had happened. Not because my dick was small or anything, I mean I didn't name my cock Gigantor for nothing, but the girl was so loose that my cock barely touched the sides as it when it.

Again I went back to my fantasy, imagining every mewl, moan and sigh that came out of her mouth belonged to Bella, not Jess who was currently bouncing up and down on my cock like it was the last time she'd ever get it. I guess the funny thing was that it probably was, unless I was desperate. I let her continue bouncing up and down on me for another ten minutes wishing she'd cum already, knowing that is the only way I'd feel anything and be able to get my release, that and picturing that it was actually someone other than her. I started to move my hand down her body till I found her clit – eyes still firmly shut even though she was begging me to look at her – and began to rub it, to bring her toward the edge sooner.

"Oh fuck…Eddie…fuck…oh…baby…fuck…OH EDDIE…EDDIE…EDDIEEEEEEEEEE!"

"FUCK BELLA!"

Instantly she stopped bouncing up on top of me, but now I'd found my release I continued to thrust as I finished spilling into the latex prison that surrounded my cock. My breath coming out in quick, short pants, I finally opened my eyes to look at her. I felt a bit of a wanker as I looked at her eyes and saw the tears that threatened to fall from me calling out another girls name while I came inside her. I thought of the first thing I could to stop her from crying as I wouldn't be able to end it if she was crying. She climbed off me and looked at me waiting for an explanation.

"It means beautiful in Italian, so I was calling out 'fuck beautiful' because that is what you are beautiful."

"Oh Eddie!" She flung her arms around my neck. "I knew you'd want me back one day. I knew you'd love me again." Hello, crazy town ticket for one please. When had I ever stated I love this crazy bitch, never once had those words left my lips to a woman apart from my mom, sister and Oma when she'd still been alive. Yep definitely getting out of this shit right now.

I carefully extracted myself from her arms. "Look Jess, I'm sorry but I don't love you. You're a beautiful girl, in your own way, but I actually think we should end what we have going on here." The tears began to form in her eyes again. "I feel like keeping this going, I'm holding you back from meeting the one who you should truly be with, so even though I don't want to end this…" No, really I did but hell I used this speech enough in the past to know it works, "…I have to so you can go out there and meet the one you are destined to be with for the rest of your life." Yes, ladies and gentlemen that is how you end it, because women eat up this shit as they think you're being all romantic, it also leaves you the chance of a casual fuck still every now and then.

"So I'm going to quickly jump in the shower and then I'm going to go." I kissed her forehead and whispered my parting words. "It has been great while it lasted, you're going to have a great life I'm just sorry I'm not the one who will get to spend it with you, but you're just too good for me."

There she was nodding away completely agreeing to everything I'd just said, nothing like giving them a little confidence boost before they realize they've just totally been dumped. I grabbed my bag that I'd brought with me – knowing I'd be going straight from here to the club – and went into her bathroom to get ready for my night of fun with Jake.

Forty minutes later I pulled up in the parking lot outside the club; if I was drinking tonight I'd have to leave it here and catch a taxi home and come back for it tomorrow. If I was getting a taxi I was making damn sure I weren't going home alone. I walked past the line that had already begun to form and straight into the club, hearing people grumble about me getting straight in. I fist bumped my man Seth who was bouncer on the door tonight and went inside to find Jake.

I walked up to the bar finding him chatting up this fiery little red head who had a spectacular looking ass. I punched him on the arm and he spun around in his seat and smiled at me, ignoring the red head he'd just been talking to knowing if he was with me he'd get a hotter piece of ass than that.

"Edward."

"Jake." We gave each other a man hug before I caught the attention of the bartender. "Four Jäger bombs. Start a tab for me also." I slid my card across the bar to him.

He took my card and quickly returned with the drinks. I was well known in this club for giving good tips if I was served quickly and efficiently all evening so I guess this guy was seeing the big tip in his future.

"So how are you doing dude?"

Jake's dad had a stroke a two months ago and I hadn't been able to catch up with him for a while. It was right around the time I'd started fucking Bella, guess I'd have to tell Jake about that tonight considering he'd been trying to get in her pants for years and she was always telling him no which made her a bitch in his books, didn't want my best bud finding that shit out from someone else.

"Been better, dad's finally out of hospital. Rachel has offered him to go live with her, Paul and the kids so I guess he's going to do that for a while. Not permanent though, so while he's away I'm going to be getting the house converted to accommodate his wheelchair."

"Shit, so they reckon the paralysis in his legs is permanent then?"

My dad was Billy's – Jake's dad – doctor, but couldn't tell me what was going on with him, so this was the first time I was getting any information than the little bit I'd received over the phone.

"Yeah, but dad is looking on the bright side, he said considering what could have happened he's willing to take not being able to use his legs again. Your dad is sorting out some home help for us for when dad gets back home so that he has someone round him while I'm at work at the garage. I guess I'll be seeing more of Isabella when he returns home also; he was her dad's best friend so it would make sense for her to call in and see him. She's been up the hospital a hell of a lot, which was no fucking fun for me."

Huh, I didn't actually know this. I guess like Jake said Billy had been Charlie's best friend when he was alive and Bella always like him so of course she'd go see him. I guess if we actually talked nowadays rather than just fuck every time we were alone I might know this but why would I want to waste time talking knowing that when we were together that we both only wanted one thing.

"Talk of the bitch and she shall appear." I followed Jake's gaze to see Bella enter with a bunch of the girls at the publishing office she worked in, well I say worked in returned the manuscripts to that she'd worked on from home once a month.

I looked closer at the girls she walked in with wondering if any of them were worth a second glance. It was then I realized that I'd either fucked or was still fucking all the girls in her group apart from one of them. There was Lauren, been there and never going there again, girl was looser than Jessica and that was some major achievement. Leah, still fucking her and shit she was fucking kinky. Rebecca, Jake's sister, fucked her once Jake found out hit me and I promised never to go there again however much I wanted to.

Jane, still fucking her, actually a pretty good friend so didn't really do that shit too often with her. Alexis, fucked her up to and on her hen party and on her wedding day, married now so I don't touch that, especially because the guy she is married to is built bigger than Emmett. Last but least Angela, never had her because she is married, and you don't hit on the married ones, you allow them to come to you. Sadly for me she never had which kind of disappointed me and I got the feeling she'd be a wild cat in bed, the quiet ones always were just look at Bella.

"You know Jake I wish you'd stop calling Bella a bitch, you know she is like my best girl friend and she isn't that bad."

"No shit so how long you been fucking her?" I spat my beer that I'd now been drinking over the bar in front of me.

No point in lying I guess. "Just a little over two months, friends with benefits deal again and believe me I'm benefiting big time from it."

"Nice man." He held out his fist for me to bump, which I did because he is my bro. "So we doubling it tonight or singling?"

Got to love that about Jake, receives a bit of shocking news like I'm shagging Bella, finds out the details and then goes on to the topic of who we'll be shagging tonight. I looked around at the girls in the club, there were a few different good looking ones but no one that I really wanted to make a permanent fuck buddy, I needed to decide because we needed to start pulling our shit out now if we wanted to have a chance of the girl or girls leaving with us tonight – singling it meant one girl between the two of us (fucking threesome, hell yeah), doubling it was a girl each – looking at the slim pickings in here tonight looks like we'd be singling it.

"Singling dude, where the fuck are all the hotties tonight?"

Jake shrugged his shoulders at me. "So who are we going for then? The red other end of the bar? The blonde out on the dance floor?"

"Not sure yet dude, let's get another couple of drinks and decide."

Just as I was about to turn back to the bar and order some more drinks for me and Jake I bumped into someone. Now I know I might be a bit of an asshole but my mom did raise me with some manners. I looked down at the girl to apologize, when I saw Bella's shocked brown eyes looking back at me. I bent down and discreetly pressed my lips gently to hers, feeling the warm electric buzz that was always there when I kissed her. I know it might look to people that it was some kind of move a boyfriend would pull but what a better way to greet my favorite fuck buddy than with a kiss.

"Hi, what are you doing here?"

"Oh I had to turn in a few manuscripts today so the girls thought it would be good to catch up and go out for the evening, kind of been neglecting them lately with all the time we've been spending together lately."

"Cool, well I won't keep you. See you later."

I turned back to Jake and saw him stare after Bella in shock as she walked away from the bar.

"Dude, that was fucking harsh even for you. Kissing her then just blowing her off."

"Fuck it she knows the score. She has feelings for me and blowing her off like that is the only way I'm going to be able to keep them in check. So come on who we going for tonight?"

We stood at the bar for another half an hour and still we found no one that attracted both me and Jake or just me or Jake.

"You know from the way Bella is eye-fucking you we could just say fuck it and make the move on her, I bet she'd be willing."

"No Jake." Somehow my chest twisted at the thought of using her like that. Me and Jake only pulled that move on one of my fuck buddies or on one of his if we were coming toward the end of an agreement with them, it always was easy to finish with them after that and in all honesty even though her feelings made this situation a little messed up I didn't want to end it with her.

"Come on, what a better way to show her that this is nothing more than sex for you. If she agrees to it, this will show her that this is nothing more than sex to you and the maybe her feelings won't end up complicating things and you can just continue with the sex between you."

Jake did kind of have a point there. I wanted her to believe this was nothing but sex to me and for her to get over her feelings for me and see this for what it really was – maybe I shouldn't have included that relationship rule with her but little did she know I had rules with all my fuck buddies and that was always the rule I put in there because I knew it got on the girls to agree – nothing but a load of sex between two friends.

"Yeah even though it does sound tempting she'd never agree to it, I mean she is a wild little thing in bed, but damn she is way to fucking straight laced for a threesome."

"I bet I could get her to agree to it. Dude, look at it this way she is the only girl in here tonight that we are both attracted to. So it is either we try and get her to agree to this and get some tonight or we both have to go home by ourselves and jack off because there is no way either of us are leaving without the other one having someone to leave with."

"She fucking hates you Jake how the hell are you going to get her to agree to this."

"I knew you'd see it my way in the end. Leave it to me. Let's go to the girls table and I'll work it out from there." He turned towards the bar. "Can I get a nine shot glasses, a bottle of Patrón, salt shaker and a bunch of lemon cut up please? Put it on rich boys tab." He said pointing at me.

The bar tender left and returned with a tray with all the items that Jake had asked for. "Sir, I would recommend settling your tab now as it is running up a fair bit now."

I'm not surprised with the size bottle of tequila they had just charged to my card, that shit is expensive, not that it honestly meant that much to me I made a fair bit off selling my music to films and writing jingles. I signed the slip he handed me, including a hundred dollar tip for the guy who had been serving us all night, and then slipped my card back into my wallet.

Jake picked up the tray and we started making out way over to the girls, but I stopped him before we reached the table.

"Look I know we said that you would try and talk her into this, but I don't want her getting shit faced and then you getting her to agree to it because she is drunk. I want her to be sober as she makes this decision."

"I promise we'll have a couple with her, and then I'll ask to talk to her quickly. I won't let her get drunk before I talk to her. Once I've got her to agree to it we'll come back join you guys for a little bit, have a few drinks to loosen her up a little bit. Then the three of us will head out. Trust me on this, have I ever let you down before." Soon we were at the table. "Ladies, we thought we'd join you girls for a few drinks if you don't mind. Seemed a bit stupid for us to sit over there at the bar, when we know you wonderful ladies and could be enjoying drinks with you. Rebecca, good to see you sis."

"Ass wipe, what the fuck you doing here tonight thought you were helping dad move into Rachel's tonight?"

"Love you too bitch. For your information we got dad's stuff over there this afternoon, thought I'd chill out this evening." I loved watching the interaction between these two, they would call each other names and argue, but you saw the family love in their eyes as they spoke to each other, it was the same way between Alice, Emmett and myself.

We sat at the table talking to the girls, have to admit it was a bit fucking awkward for me because none of the girls I was currently fucking knew I was fucking their friends, they knew I was having sex with other people but I never thought I'd be sleeping with people in their close group of friends. I would catch each of them discreetly looking at me from the corner of their eyes; I bet they were wondering if I'd give them the signal that I wanted to take them home tonight. Lauren even grabbed my junk, I removed her hand quickly and gave her a look that hopefully said 'I don't fucking think so.'

The drinks were flowing freely and after a couple of drinks I saw Jake talking to Bella. Not long after those, maybe four drinks in, not an amount that would impair Bella's decision making, Jake and Bella excused themselves from the table. Rebecca raised her eyebrow at me, knowing their testy relationship and knowing I was one of Bella's best friends, questioning what the fuck was going on.

"Look I asked Jake to make it up with her, I'm sick of having two of my best friends at each other's throats. We're going to be heading off soon and I wanted to share a taxi back with Bella knowing you guys wouldn't want her to travel back by herself and you guys all live here in P.A. I really don't fancy sitting in that taxi for an hour with the hostility between them."

"You're a good guy looking after her Edward; you know Bella wouldn't take us up on staying with any of us for the night so will be good to have someone for her to head home with." If you really knew what they were talking about you wouldn't be calling me such a good guy.

The girls continued to happily drink their way through the bottle of tequila I had purchased; I was taking the rest of that shit with me when I left. I slowed down on how many drinks I was actually consuming, didn't want to get brewers droop if Bella actually agreed to this. Fifteen minutes later my phone buzzed, I looked towards the front door of the club for Jake, a quick drop call was our way of communicating that it was on and we were leaving. Jake stood there with his arm wrapped around Bella's shoulders, who looked nervous, coats in their hands having been collected from the coat check already. Somehow the cocky bastard had managed it from the looks of things; I shook my head in disbelief. I said my goodbyes to the girls, from the three of us, and made my way to the door, making sure to grab the bottle before leaving.

No words were exchanged by the three of us, we knew what was happening and that seemed to be all that was needed between us, no words needed at all. I sat in the taxi next to Bella on the way back, I don't know why but I took her hand in mine I needed some contact with her before this happened. I heard her let out a few shaky nervous breaths on the journey, each time I squeezed her hand reminding her that I was there with her. It made me feel better for some reason and I hoped she felt the same. I wondered with how nervous she seemed how much she actually wanted to go through with this and what Jake had said to get her to agree. Soon we were turning onto Klahndike Boulevard and pulling up to Bella's house.

We all climbed out of the car and Bella and I started to walk up to the front door while Jake settled up with the driver. I watched as she pulled the keys from her purse and grabbed her hand before she could insert them into the lock. I looked deep into her eyes, knowing she could probably see the nervousness in my eyes, the same swam in hers. Jake joined us on the porch by now; we'd done this before so I don't know why I doubted myself this time. If the three of us walked through that door and continued as planned I knew everything between Bella and me would change; our friendship and definitely our friends with benefits agreement. The question sprang up in my mind as I looked at her, could I really go through with this?

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**A/N 2 - So what is going on with Doucheward, thinking of Bella while having sex with other people and doubting what he is about to do. Is he about to have a change of heart in regards to all of the random sex and maybe be ready to settle down (let me tell you now, that ain't happening anytime soon). Also we finally see Jake and he seems to be just as much of a prick as Edward is.  
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**As I said at the beginning I need an extra week to write the next chapter because I'm going to have a poll on my profile page for the next week or so as to what should happen next. Should they have the threesome and you want to see the lemon, have the threesome but you don't want to see the lemon or should they not have the threesome at all. I want you guys to have a say in this so I'd be grateful if after you have read this chapter you'd quickly pop onto my profile and vote. **

**Anyways, next chapter will be from BPOV, we'll also see what Jake said to her to get her to agree, also depending on the result of the poll the result will be from her POV. I hope you enjoyed the chapter (the longest one so far), please leave a review if you did.**

**Until next time, Kay x  
**


	8. Authors Note

**Sorry people this isn't a new chapter just a very quick authors note. **

**Sorry I haven't posted in a while I do plan on continuing this story but at the moment I'm going through some very big life altering things, the main one being at the moment there is a strong possibility that me and my husband are going to seperate. Once things settle down I will be continuing but until then please bear with me whilst I get my life back on track which may take another couple of months still or it may be sooner. **

**Thank you all. x**


	9. Authors Note 2

**Sorry people again this isn't a new chapter just a very quick authors note. **

**I thought I'd just inform everyone what has been going on since my last authors note. Sadly me and my husband are seperating this however is not my choice and to top it all off I now have to find somewhere to live whilst dealing with the marriage breakdown and depression and anxiety issues. So as you can imagine this story still needs to be on hold for a little bit longer. Once I have sorted out somewhere to live which will hopefully be soon along with everything else that is going on I will be updating but please be patient with me a little bit longer whilst I get everything sorted and my new life on track. **

**Thank you all. x**


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